Guys and dolls

the art of green tea

"Rie" with her future husband, musicians, and servants

green tea and red bean cakes...mmm

my class (all women, as usual)

So the other day I was sitting around feeling jealous of Jen because she has so many friendships here in Japan. I asked her how she was able to grow so close to students with the language barrier...and how the relationships had lasted so long. For instance, one night while staying here, she was invited over to one of her adult student's houses to experience this month's doll festival and eat chirashi. My adult students hardly speak to me once class time is done. She said that she didn't really do anything - it was really to the credit of a few students who reached out to her.

Well, wouldn't you know it...this past Friday my students wanted to go have lunch together after class. We went to a nearby place and had chirashi (apparently it's popular right now). Afterward, one of the women invited me to come see her doll display (since they're taken down before Girls Day on March 3 or else their daughters will have back luck in their love life). So I got to visit a real Japanese home, see the display and hear firsthand from her 38-year-old, single daughter about the pros and cons of this tradition (ex: these dolls were made by her grandmother as a special gift upon her birth to bring her a good husband and fortune...but, when her mom sets them out every February, she is reminded of how "late" she is).

So I got my wish and I got a chance to realize how lucky I am...sure, my mom has been pressuring me for grandkids since menarche, but in general we only feel pressure from ourselves to get married. Rie (the daughter) said that Japan has a negative view of women - that they must get married to satisfy men (which I knew, but it was nice to hear it from someone who knows what they're talking about). The poor girl doesn't seem to be interested (and she is doing fine on her own...she travels, has a variety of skills, she is bilingual, and she is one of few trained kimono makers). I forget how many rights we have. Seems like we want more and more, so we are constantly looking forward and never looking back to see where we've been.

In conclusion...Japan is rich with tradition, which I envy. But Japan is also rich with societal pressures, which I can do without.